I don’t know about you, but I am not happy every single second of every day. I experience roller coasters of emotion like everybody else, but I have discovered something that makes the job of staying happy a little easier. It revolves around the concept of wholeness.
Wholeness is a feeling of completeness, a feeling that everything is right. Unfortunately, our belief systems and our philosophies support fragmentation, and a feeling of separateness from life. Fragmentation leads to a feeling of incompleteness, and then you find yourself on a descent into negative emotion.
We are told that it is not possible to feel happy all the time, because the universe itself is polarized. This is an absolute fact. Hot–cold, weak–strong, light– dark, positive–negative, etc. However, these are qualities that describe matter and energy! Of course, it appears to us in our physical incarnations that we ARE matter and energy, does it not? Even for those who understand our spiritual heritage, the physical experience has led us to formulate and buy into core beliefs like these:
· Souls are born with original sin (or karma). [tainted before you ever begin]
· You have to struggle and work hard for everything you get. [the universe is lined up against you]
· Challenge builds character. [only by overcoming the negative can you reach the positive]
· You’ll get your reward in heaven. [you can’t really find joy while on earth, so shut up and get to work]
· Human nature is animalistic and primitive; therefore, human beings need to be controlled and disciplined. [you can’t know what’s best for you, because your instincts are inherently flawed]
· If you don’t behave you should be punished. [thus reinforcing negative behavior]
· Things never go as smoothly as you plan them [obstacles are inevitable]
· And finally, the formula that succinctly expresses mankind’s worldview: All good things must come to an end. [But the bad stuff, that can last forever].
All of these beliefs lead to a feeling of separation, and fragment our consciousness. Is it any wonder that this sort of thinking extends even into how we define consciousness itself?
We divide the psyche –– something that no one has ever been able to define, precisely because it is non–physical –– into artificial compartments, such as the ego, the id, the subconscious, the conscious, the super–conscious, the “inner child,” and many more. We subdivide our psyche into separate boxes like we were cutting up a pie. We then assign these parts magical powers to influence our behavior in undesirable ways.
For example, we are taught that the ego is bad, and that we should strive to overcome and transcend it. We are taught that the inner child is wounded and needs healing, that the id contains harmful negative emotions, and that the subconscious is a vast, murky repository of neurotic and unhealthy impulses that can affect our behavior without our conscious consent. If these aspects of our consciousness are part of our very nature, then how can we possible achieve wholeness? Well, we cannot!
This sort of fragmentary thinking regards our own psyche as a battleground of competing factions, and leads inevitably to a feeling of tension and frustration. We must then invent complicated processes and 12–step programs to try to overcome this self–created conflict. No wonder there are so many self–help books, seminars, and courses out there!
If you understand your spiritual nature, you understand that these artificial designations of the psyche don’t exist, and that you aren’t any of them. These psychic constructs have been invented by well intentioned people in an attempt to explain the complex gamut of human behavior; but they have somehow taken on a life of their own, just like the “monsters of the id” in the famous science fiction movie, “Forbidden Planet.”
What I have discovered is that a feeling of wholeness can result from openness, honesty, and transparency. A person can begin to regain wholeness by simply accepting themselves, and being honest and open with themselves.
Wholeness does not mean that you have to be perfect in every moment. The road to wholeness begins by understanding that it is perfectly OK to feel what you are feeling, even if you feel rotten.
I have discovered the value of simply being myself in every situation. At work, at home, with friends, in public, at family gatherings, during my radio shows. For me, it is a great temptation to alter my behavior to suit the crowd I am currently interacting with. My main motivation is to help and support others, and that often leads me to want to keep things going smoothly. What I’ve found, however, is that although it’s easy to “go along to get along,” I find myself wearing different masks depending upon which social situation I’m in. And that is very tiring!
So I finally just gave it up. I decided to be me, even if I’m feeling grumpy, and no matter who I’m with. I’ll tell people, “you know, I’m feeling irritable right now, so just bear with me.” I’ve discovered that people appreciate that sort of honesty, and a funny thing happens. When I’m open to people, even when I’m not feeling so great, I get out of my funk a lot faster. There’s something about an open and transparent person that other people can really relate to. And you know why? Because we’ve all been there! I’ve discovered that when I’m openly and honestly angry, it takes the edge off my negative emotion, people can understand me in the moment, and I begin to feel better a lot quicker.
What I’m trying to say is that openness, transparency, and honesty is the road to wholeness. It is the road to personal integrity, for that’s what wholeness is. And you can begin to practice this right now.
To act in this way is bringing out an inner strength I didn’t know I had.
I’ve also discovered that baring your soul to people takes a lot of courage. I’ve discovered that being open to people can only come from a position of inner strength. It’s only when I am frustrated inside that I am truly angry, and that frustration almost always comes from not being honest and open with myself, or being afraid that others will not perceive me the way I would like. But of course, being dishonest puts a mask between me and the world, and that naturally turns people off!
I’ve found that I can be polite and social, and still express who I am in the moment. Openness doesn’t mean obtuseness if you are genuine, authentic, and are willing to open yourself up.
Every one of us is a perfected spiritual being. That is the quality of the creative principle, which is non–physical, non–polarized, and exists in a state of bliss. But we are also human, and even though it is easy to slide along by conforming to society’s version of “normal,” “normal” doesn’t really feel that great a lot of the time. Successful and happy people go their own way, not in a resistive and “f – you” fashion, but in a way that open them up to themselves, and to the world at large.
My spiritual guides tell me that when you fully accept yourself, you will feel bliss.
They say that polarity dissolves when there is a feeling of wholeness, and that wholeness is just the acceptance of who you are. They are always telling me how important feelings are, and that everything worthwhile in life boils down to a feeling.
Love is a feeling, happiness is a feeling. Success is the feeling of having accomplished something worthwhile. Integrity is a feeling of wholeness and internal strength. You feel good when you help another because giving touches the soul. Everything we strive for in life is motivated by the desire to feel love and happiness, and that begins with openness and self–honesty.
The question is, how is it possible to maintain a sense of wholeness while still living a crazy life on earth that exposes us to such great polarity?
By recognizing that you do not have to think a certain way, or to be a certain way. It is sufficient, in other words, to be yourself. What I mean by “being yourself” is simply the acceptance of who you are, right now. All of you! This will generate the feeling of wholeness.
I am talking about a feeling of wholeness, not a condition of wholeness!
Wholeness doesn’t mean that your life has to be perfect! Your life might be a disaster, but you must begin by being honest with yourself emotionally. If you feel rotten in this moment, that is perfectly fine. That feeling occurs because you do not fully accept yourself. The solution is not to beat yourself up or take another seminar or search for the "secret" to success.
The way to get out of that trap is to be open and transparent. Pull back those psychic curtains, unlock those emotional doors, throw away those masks, and open up those windows of feeling! Air out your psyche. Throw away all of those psychic boxes marked “ego” “subconscious” “inner child,” etc., and feel the fresh air of life force flowing through you.
Begin by deciding to just be who you are, no matter how that is, or how it might affect others. I think you’ll find that being yourself is the greatest gift you can give to yourself, and everyone you interact with.
Meditation to promote the feeling of wholeness:
Sit or lie anywhere you like, as long as it is comfortable.
Imagine that you are surrounded by a sphere of soft, golden light, and that you are inside this sphere. Why a sphere? Because the Sphere is the geometric equivalent of wholeness. It is smooth, unbroken and has no beginning and ending. The golden energy within this sphere penetrates and warms every cell in your body. Feel yourself as whole and complete. Fragmentary thoughts and emotions simply dissolve, and you feel a delicious warmth and a feeling that all is right within you. You may, if you are a sensitive, see or feel color.
Once you feel this energy, you can get up and go about your business. This feeling should stay with you for a while, because the color gold has the peculiar property of warmth and wholeness. It is a very fundamental energy that lasts a long time, like a warm breakfast on a cold day.
You can do this exercise at any time. You do not have to close your eyes. Just imagine being surrounded by golden light and feel the sense of completeness that accompanies it.